10 Myths & Misconceptions about Divorces

March 14, 2023

Untrue Statement #1: Divorces are Always Adversarial

 

One of the most common misconceptions about divorces is that they are always adversarial and all need to go to trial. While it is true that divorce can be a contentious process, it does not always have to be that way. In fact, many couples are able to resolve their issues amicably and without needing much more than the Judge’s signature to make it official. There are a lot of ways to get divorced without fighting more.

 

Untrue Statement #2: Divorces are Always Expensive

 

Another common misconception about divorces is that they are always expensive. While it is true that divorce can be costly, it does not always have to be that way. Couples can save money by opting to settle, whether on their own or with the help of a professional, such as a mediator, which is typically less expensive than traditional litigation.

 

Untrue Statement #3: Custody (parental allocation) Favors the Mother (Or, I am the Mom, of Course I Will Get Custody)

 

The very first case I tried in 2004 I won. I represented the father. If the mother always won, then I should have lost my first case. Or my second case, which was another win for a father. It is a common misconception that the Judge always favors the mother when it comes to parental allocation (child custody). The court’s primary concern is the best interest of the child, and it takes into account various factors when making a decision, including each parent’s ability to provide for the child, the child’s relationship with each parent, and the child’s preference (if he or she is old enough to express a preference).

 

Untrue Statement #4: Divorce Court is Always Slow

 

Divorce court is often portrayed as a slow and cumbersome process – which it is if you need to have hearings before the Judge. While it is true that divorce can take some time, it does not always have to be a lengthy process. The timeline for divorce can vary depending on the complexity of the issues involved, the cooperation of the parties, and the backlog of cases in the court system. But you control how fast I do your divorce if you agree. In fact, in some cases, I can have your case totally through the system in 30 days.

 

Untrue Statement #5: All Divorce Cases go to Trial.

 

Many people assume that a divorce always results in a trial. This is actually pretty rare and most cases settle. Going to trial is typically a last resort when all other options have been exhausted.

 

Untrue Statement #6: Divorce Cases Always Results in an Unfair Settlement (Or, I Should get Everything Because I Was Wronged)

 

There is a common belief that divorces always result in an unfair settlement, with one party coming out on top and the other party being left with nothing. While it is true that divorce can result in an unequal distribution of assets, the court’s goal is to divide marital property fairly and equitably. In many cases, the court will order a 50/50 split of marital property, but 50/50 is not always the rule either. And no, the Court does not usually punish one spouse or another.

 

Untrue Statement #7: Divorces Always Result in a Bitter Fight

 

Divorce court is often portrayed as a battleground, with each party fighting tooth and nail to get what they want. While divorce can be a contentious process, it does not always have to be that way. In fact, many couples are able to resolve their issues amicably and are able to be cordial afterwards. The trial process deepens animosity but settlements without trial tend to not.

 

Untrue Statement #8: A Divorce Always Results in a Loss of Control of Your Life and Outcome.

 

Many people assume that going to divorce court means giving up control of the outcome. However, this is not necessarily true. While the court will ultimately make the final decision in a divorce case, couples can still have a say in the outcome by negotiating and working together without asking the Judge to make decisions.

 

Untrue Statement #9: Divorces Always Require Expensive Attorneys

 

While it is always recommended to have an attorney to represent you in divorce court,amicable, uncontested, and no contest divorces are not as expensive as you fear. Fighting about things means that the attorney is asked to present the issue to the Judge. Fighting = attorney time. Attorney time = higher cost. No fighting = less time, lower cost.

 

Untrue Statement #10: Divorce Court Always Results in a Negative Outcome

 

Many people assume that going to divorce court means a negative outcome for everyone involved. However, this is not necessarily true. While divorce is never easy, it is possible to have a positive outcome. Couples can work together to negotiate a settlement that works for both parties, and couples can and do reach a mutually beneficial agreements.

 

As an attorney, I handle divorce differently than most. I help you keep focused on the outcome of settling and moving on, not remaining in an expensive battle that benefits me financially. I will discuss my fees up front and let you make payments. If you think you can work with your soon-to-be-ex, reach out. If you need ideas of the topics you will have to agree on, look here or here. And when you are ready, contact me or give me a call.