Rapid Unplanned Disassembly: A Metaphor for Unexpected Divorce
April 20, 2023 at 7:00 PM
by Amanda
SpaceX Falcon 9 Launch
  • The Fallout of a Marital RUD

The emotional fallout of an unexpected divorce can be devastating. People who go through divorce - whether they knew it was coming or not - often experience a wide range of emotions, including sadness, anger, grief, guilt, and loneliness. It is important to allow yourself to feel these emotions. Don't try to bottle them up or pretend that you're not hurting. It's okay to cry, scream, or punch a pillow. The important thing is to find healthy ways to express your emotions. Talking to a therapist or counselor can be very helpful and what you say to your counselor or therapist will not be read in open court, absent some very specific exceptions. Exercise, journaling, and spending time with supportive friends and family can also help you cope with the emotional fallout of divorce. It is important to take care of yourself during this time. Make sure you are getting enough sleep, eating healthy foods, and exercising regularly.

Divorce can also be a very financially stressful experience. The legal process can be long and drawn-out, and the financial implications can be significant. These can include dividing finances, finding a new place to live, questions like child support or maintenance, and most importantly, finding a good lawyer to help you.

  • Next Steps When Your Marriage has a RUD

  1. Take time to think. Don't make any rash decisions about your future. Give yourself some time to grieve the end of your marriage and figure out what you want next.
  2. Gather copies of important documents. This includes your birth certificate, tax returns, financial statements, and any other important documents.
  3. Don't get into a physical altercation. Divorce can be a very emotional time, and it's important to stay calm and avoid getting into fights with your soon-to-be-ex. Those fights can open a whole new can of worms, like going to jail.
  4. Arrange to see a therapist. A therapist can help you cope with the emotional fallout of divorce and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
  5. Start thinking about how you want your case to go. Do you want to fight? Or can you think it through? If you think you can, check here for some of those next steps

  • Contact the Clean-Up Crew (Or, find a lawyer)

First, you should find a lawyer who is right for you. There are many different types of lawyers, and not all of them will be a good fit for your case. It is important to find a lawyer who is experienced in family law, and who you feel comfortable with. Just because the lawyer has an award does not mean that they are the right one for you. Its ok to speak to several attorneys before choosing someone to help you. They need to be someone you can trust and who you can see yourself working with.

Second, you need to be prepared to pay for legal fees. Legal fees can be expensive, so it is important to factor this into your decision. As you think about that financial cost, know that the more you fight and the more you call your attorney, the higher your cost will be.

  • The Financial Aspects of Calling the Clean-up Crew

The cost of divorce can vary depending on the complexity of your case. In general, you can expect to pay between $2,000 and $100,000 (or more, if you are rich and famous) for a divorce. However, if your case is complex or if you have children, the cost could be much higher than $100,000. Many couples in the metro-east can expect to pay $30,000 or more per person to have their lawyers try their case and have the judge make all the decisions.

If you can control your emotions and work things through civilly with your spouse, it will make the divorce process faster and easier and a whole lot less expensive. This is because you will be able to reach a settlement more quickly, and you will be less likely to have to go to court.

  • Controlling What Happens Next

You need to start thinking about what you want to happen next. This includes things like:

How do you want to divide your assets?

How do you want to divide your debts?

How do you want to share parenting time and parenting responsibilities of your children?

It is important to remember that you control what happens next. You can negotiate a settlement with your spouse and save yourself a lot of money, or you can go to court. If you go to court, a judge will make the decisions for you (and you will have a hefty legal bill).

If your marriage experiences a RUD, but you can sift through the rubble, I am here to help with the legal aspects of the clean-up process. I can be reached through my website or by calling my office. I have 19+ years of experience helping my clients with unexpected RUDs and I do everything I can as an attorney to make it a lot easier and faster.