Rapid Unplanned Disassembly: A Metaphor for Unexpected Divorce

April 20, 2023

Few things are as devastating as an unexpected divorce. In engineering, an unexpected catastrophe is called a rapid unexpected disassembly or RUD. RUD sounds a lot more clinical than blew up. Some people experience the same thing with their marriage. One day, their marriage experiences a RUD and blows up out of the blue. Whether your marriage’s end is a blindside or a gradual breakdown, the emotional and financial toll can be immense. But you’re not alone, and there are steps you can take to navigate an unexpected divorce.

Coping with the Emotional Rollercoaster

Divorce triggers a whirlwind of emotions: sadness, anger, grief, guilt, and more. It’s essential to acknowledge these feelings and find healthy ways to cope.

  • Allow yourself to feel: Don’t bottle up your emotions. Talk to a therapist, journal, or lean on supportive friends and family.
  • Prioritize self-care: Get enough sleep, eat nourishing foods, and exercise. Taking care of your physical health supports your emotional well-being.
  • Seek professional help: A therapist can provide a safe space to process your emotions and develop coping strategies. Remember, therapy is confidential, and your conversations won’t end up in court (with some rare exceptions).

Facing the Financial Reality

Divorce often brings financial stress, from dividing assets to establishing new living arrangements. Here are some initial steps to take:

  • Gather important documents: Collect financial records, tax returns, and any other relevant paperwork.
  • Avoid conflict: Arguments won’t help your case. Prioritize staying calm and focused on practical matters.
  • Hire an attorney: A divorce lawyer can help you understand your rights, protect your interests, and navigate the legal process.

Taking Control of Your Next Chapter

While it’s tempting to rush into decisions, take time to think clearly about your future. Consider:

  • Your financial goals: How will you manage your finances independently?
  • Your living situation: Will you stay in the house, move, or find a new place?
  • Your children’s needs: If you have kids, how will you co-parent effectively?

Remember, you have agency in this situation. You can choose to negotiate a settlement with your spouse or seek resolution through the courts. An experienced attorney can guide you through these choices and help you make informed decisions.

Facing an Unexpected Divorce in Illinois? I Can Help

If your marriage experiences a RUD, but you can sift through the rubble, I am here to help with the legal aspects of the clean-up process. I can be reached through my website or by calling my office. I have 19+ years of experience helping my clients with unexpected RUDs and I do everything I can as an attorney to make it a lot easier and faster.