It can be one of the most devastating things to happen in a relationship - when your marriage reaches a point it is on life support. You may feel like you've been blindsided, and you may be wondering what you did wrong. In some cases, there may have been warning signs that you simply didn't see or didn't want to see.
1. They withdraw from arguments instead of trying to resolve them.
When you're in a healthy relationship, you and your spouse will argue from time to time. That's normal. What's not normal is if your spouse stops trying to resolve those arguments and simply withdraws from them instead. If this is something that's been happening more and more often, it could be a sign that they're done fighting for the relationship and are already mentally checked out.
2. They start making unilateral decisions.
A healthy relationship is built on mutual respect and communication. So, if your spouse starts making major decisions without consulting you first, it's a red flag that they may be ready to go their own way. This is especially true if those decisions are major ones that will affect both of you, such as buying a new car or changing jobs.
3. They become more critical of you.
Nobody's perfect, but in a healthy relationship, your spouse should be able to accept you for who you are, flaws and all. If they suddenly start becoming much more critical of you - pointing out your every little imperfection and making cutting remarks - it could be a sign that they're no longer happy in the relationship and are looking for ways to justify leaving.
4. They become more distant emotionally.
If your spouse suddenly seems emotionally distant - if they seem preoccupied, distracted, or even flat-out indifferent towards you - it's a sign that something is definitely wrong. This emotional distance can manifest itself in many different ways, such as always being on their phone instead of spending time with you or becoming absorbed in hobbies or work to the point where they have no time for you anymore.
5. They start talking about the future without you in it.
This is perhaps the most clear-cut sign that your spouse is getting ready to leave - when they start talking about the future without including you in it. For example, they might talk about taking a trip next year without mentioning whether or not you'll be going with them. Or they might talk about having kids someday without ever asking how you feel about starting a family together. If your spouse starts doing this kind of thing, it's pretty much guaranteed that they're envisioning a future without you in it.
These are just a few of the many signs that your marriage is reaching a point where it is probably over - so if you've noticed any of them in your own relationship, now would be a good time to start paying attention! And if things do get to the point where your spouse does move out or starts talking about divorce...well, at least now you'll know it wasn't completely out of the blue!
If it does reach the point where your spouse has moved out or told you they are going to divorce you, remember, working on settling it without fighitng will save you tons of money. If you want to start the process so you can begin healing, reach out to my office. Contact me through my website or call me so you can begin the process.