Why Routines Matter When Everything Else Doesn’t
There’s comfort in the ordinary. In the ritual of pouring coffee at the same time every morning. In washing the breakfast dishes. In answering one email, or folding one towel, or feeding the cat.
These small acts don’t fix the big things, but they quietly remind you that you’re still capable of care, of choice, of movement.
As humans, we crave structure. Routines give us something to hold onto when chaos enters the room uninvited. This chaos could mean loss, divorce, your ex moving out, any major change. You don’t need a perfect plan and you’ll spin your wheels and feel worse if you try to create it, Instead, you need just a few familiar anchors that remind your body and mind what normal feels like. And when things fall apart, keeping routine when life feels upside down is what helps you remember that you haven’t fallen apart too.
Lessons from a Cat Who Always Knew
My late cat, Caveat, had an uncanny way of understanding the world’s storms without ever being pulled into them. If I was upset, he didn’t try to fix it. He didn’t leave the room, either. He’d simply stay close, calm and unhurried, as if to say, “You’ll figure it out, but maybe sit down and breathe first.” And then he would try his best to cheer me up by being goofy.
Caveat was also a cat of strict but sensible routine. Brunch at 10, supper at 5, treats at 10 p.m. sharp. And he knew when 10 was—he’d start telling me at 9:30, just in case I forgot who really ran the house.
When life felt chaotic, keeping his schedule became part of keeping mine. Feeding him on time gave my days shape when nothing else did. It was a reminder that even when the big things feel too heavy, showing up for the small ones—feeding, caring, noticing—can hold the world together just enough. It’s the simplest form of keeping routine when life feels upside down.
What “Keeping Routine” Really Means
Sometimes people hear “keep your routine” and imagine it means pretending everything is fine. That’s not it.
Keeping a routine doesn’t mean pushing yourself to perform as if nothing happened. It means choosing a few things that make you feel connected to yourself. Maybe it’s your morning walk. Maybe it’s lighting a candle before you work. Maybe it’s just sitting at your desk, even if all you do is sit.
The goal isn’t to do everything. It’s to keep something—anything—that reminds you you’re still here and still capable of small, steady acts of care. When you focus on keeping routine when life feels upside down, you’re not chasing perfection—you’re choosing presence.
For My Clients and Readers
I see this lesson play out all the time in family transitions. Divorce, separation, and co-parenting changes are emotional earthquakes. But even when everything else feels uncertain, keeping small routines helps both adults and children adapt.
A consistent dinner time. A predictable bedtime. The same drop-off ritual. These aren’t just habits—they’re signals of safety. They show that, no matter how life rearranges itself, love and stability remain.
Routines don’t erase pain, but they build resilience. They whisper, “We’re still moving forward.” And for many families, keeping routine when life feels upside down is what helps everyone—especially children—feel safe enough to heal.
Relearning Balance, One Morning at a Time
After Caveat died, I thought the quiet would swallow me. But the rhythm he taught me – brunch at 10, supper at 5, treats at 10 – stayed in my bones. And admittedly, it probably always will.
Now, even without his soft commentary at 9:30 p.m., even in the middle of a baseball game, that sense of structure lingers. Morning coffee. A moment at my desk. Watching the light shift across the floor. Those small, steady motions are enough to keep the world from spinning completely off its axis.
There’s wisdom in that kind of steadiness. It’s not about control; it’s about continuity. It’s trusting that the smallest things—the ones you can handle—matter more than you think. And that’s the quiet truth behind keeping routine when life feels upside down: it’s how we teach ourselves to stand again.
A Final Thought
If your world feels upside down right now because your marriage has ended, you don’t have to fix it all today or tomorrow. You don’t have to make sense of it yet. Just keep one small routine. Feed the cat. Pour the coffee. Water the plant. Do something that reminds you of the part of yourself that endures.
Keep the routines you can handle. The rest will follow when it’s ready.
About Flat Fee Divorce Solutions
I’m Amanda Bradley, a family law attorney in O’Fallon, Illinois, serving clients throughout the Metro East region and most of the lower part of the State of Illinois. My practice focuses on uncontested and negotiated divorces. My passion is helping people move through difficult transitions with less conflict, less cost, and more peace of mind.
If you’re ready to take the next step toward stability, I offer free phone consultations to help you explore your options with clarity and calm. Schedule a time that works for you or call my office when you are ready. You will find an attorney who will walk the path with you and gets it, uses humor to lighten the situation and will treat you with kindness and respect.