You Are Not Alone

Sometimes, even when you’re doing everything “right,” life falls apart anyway. I know that you are not alone, but I also know you feel like you are. So, I want to share my story.

In the course of 18 months, my life fell apart. Between the spring of 2012 and the beginning of 2013, I lost four cats—Max in March, Squeaky in May, Hoody in December, and Daemon in January. My migraines became chronic in the summer of 2012, just when my health insurance lapsed. I couldn’t afford the treatments that might have helped. Then my mom’s cancer returned in January 2013. In the spring of 2013, I spent every last dollar I had, and then some, flying back and forth from St. Louis to South Carolina where she lived.  I barely kept up with my practice and stopped taking new clients. After months of traveling back and forth between St. Louis and South Carolina to help with her care she passed away from ovarian cancer on May 29, 2013.

I soon returned to full time work in the summer of 2013, but I was trying to keep my law practice afloat around crippling migraines. The more I worked, the worse my health became; there was no balance of work and health. I was an attorney, but I was also broke, exhausted, and grieving. I had lost over 60 pounds during that time — often because I had to skip meals to keep gas n my car to get to work or court. A friend loaned me money. Another gave me a kind hug and all the cash in his wallet because he was compelled to help.  I qualified for subsidized health coverage under the Affordable Care Act, which made a tremendous difference. I learned that asking for help doesn’t mean you’ve failed—it means you’re still standing, still trying, still human. I was too proud to ask at the time because I was an attorney. We are supposed to be rich and successful and I knew I was a failure because I was not. But in all of that, I learned that sometimes, life has so many curveballs that it all falls apart and I was not alone. I was just in a bad spot, despite having done it all right.

That’s why I want to share this list. If you’re struggling right now because of the government shutdown—or because life has just piled too much on at once—there are people and places here in our communities that can help. Whether you need food, pet food, or a hot meal shared with kindness, you deserve support and dignity.

You’re not alone.

Where to get a hot meal

Many churches and community organizations also have meals weekly or monthly, Get on Facebook or google churches near you to see if they have a community meal.

Where to get groceries and household supplies

Some of these food pantries have requirements such as living in the town to qualify. Call ahead to make sure, or check their website.

Where to get pet food

In my life, my pets are my family. These organizations will help you keep your furchild with you

Where to get help with utilities

This is a partial list. You have to live in the township, but if you are unsure where to call, you can also start with the Urban League or the United Way.

You are not alone. If you need help, and you’re embarrassed to ask, reach out to one of these organizations. They will help you without judgment. Like me, many of the volunteers who work with these organizations have gone through something similar; they will not judge you for where you are right now. I would strongly recommend you call before you go, to ensure you qualify and have the right paperwork done or in your hands so you do not get turned away. There are people who care and who want to help you.